About Me

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United States
WRITER. ARTIST. THINKER. INVOLUNTARY RECLUSE. I work under my own name, Marque Terrynamahr Strickland, or my pen name, Wrinklegus PoisonTongue. I absolutely ADORE artistically brilliant people. I surround myself with them, as it is with them that I feel most comfortable. I owe everything to artistic people, for without you, I would be nothing. Be you a writer, painter, actor, musician, architect, or whatever, I thrive upon your efforts. You are the air I breath. My solace. My stronghold. My safety net. My sanity. My reason for living. I love you all. Childish. Creative. High maintenance. Sensitive. Insensitive. Insecure. Quick tempered. Loving. Loyal. Lustful. Incredibly horny (especially after 3 decades of involuntary celibacy). Mischievous. Bombastic. Slightly domineering, yet fair and easy to please. Talented to no end. Know-it-all. Chaste. Afraid of germs. Healthy. Insightful. Artist. Born on St. Patrick's Day, I am a PISCES with VIRGO rising, two signs of opposition, which complete me. By the Chinese Zodiac, I'm a DRAGON with ROOSTER rising. —The ‘f-bomb’ is my favourite swear word.

Marque Terrynamahr Strickland's Twitter

Monday, December 27, 2010

New design of an old project: Volkeye!

I completely redesigned the wrap-around, one-piece, book cover for my novel. I like this one much more! I can't believe I was up till 4AM on a school night doing this shit!

And here's the prototype that just came to me in the mail. It came out pretty damn gangster. I'm happy with the OUTSIDE! Now I must get my Adobe Suite and Mac, so I can use InDesign to fix the inside portion. I'm tired of that shit coming out so 'off' looking. It's always something it seems. Never mind...it keeps me on my toes as an artist!
And here's the other shot. It's funny how my first project was such a big ass 'grown man' novel, whereas those following were much shorter. Not that I dictate the length of a book beforehand...a story is as long as it needs to be.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

I think I'm in love...you all know I have a thing for these artsy girls!

This girl is ill! Her voice is, like, 'CHRISTINA AGUILERA' DOPE, seriously! (This muthafucker sets my soul on fire. Good lord, I dig her! Lol.)




Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Incredible holographic performance!

(I KNEW this could be done...I just needed to see it! Leave it up to the Japanese to be this damn brilliant! This is VERY inspirational for certain projects I'm going to do in the future!)

Japanese 3D singing hologram Hatsune Miku becomes nation's strangest pop star

By Niall Firth

She is cute, stylish and has had a number one chart-topping single. But Japan’s newest and biggest pop star differs from most of her peers in one crucial aspect: she is a hologram. Hatsune Miku has taken the music scene by storm in her native Japan where her concerts are always sold out and are full of screaming, adoring fans. Now, like something out of a science fiction film, videos have emerged which show Miku on tour in Japan, singing a selection of hits.

Miku is a digital avatar created by Japanese technology firm Crypton Future Media that customers can purchase and then program to perform any song on their computer. She is supposed to be 16 years old and five foot two inches tall but her makers have given little away about her personality. Crypton uses voices recorded by actors and then puts them through Yamaha’s Vocaloid software to create its characters.

Miku’s voice was created by taking vocal samples from the voice actress Saki Fujita. All of the samples contained a single Japanese sound which when strung together would create full words and phrases. Her music and image have proved so popular that she has now gone on a sell-out tour where thousands of fans wave light sticks and scream as if she is a real-life pop star.

It is the first time a hologram has been used on stage in this way, moving and strutting just like a real pop star. Gorillaz, the band fronted by Damon Albarn, used projected holograms at the MTV music awards in 2005 and 2006 but these were projected onto a back screen, rather than in full three dimensions.

Miku has become such a star that she already has a fan club, Facebook page and has set up ‘her’ own record label. She has also appeared in a number of episodes of popular Japanese anime TV programs. She performed her first ‘live’ concert in 2009 and has also travelled to Singapore on tour. In March 2010 three metal plates with Hatsune Miku’s image etched on them were placed on board Japanese spacecraft Akatsuki and sent into space after a nationwide petition with more than 14,000 signatures demanded she be included.

Monday, November 15, 2010

Kids: Sometimes you just wanna.....jeezus!

(This post is "appropriate" now that I'm no longer working in the school system and don't have a need to have my profile set to private. I won't be ashamed of my dislike for this child...he was terrible. LOL.)

Okay, so I had one of those moments today when I looked at one of the students I work with, who, of course, was across the room acting an ass, and I thought to myself: "WHAT. IS. WRONG. WITH. THIS. BOY? HE IS A GODDAMN FOOL! I SWEAR IF I MET HIM ON THE STREET AFTER SCHOOL..."
So, of course, one of my six-year-olds, Devonte (the kid I adore), looks at me with a big smile, leans in and whispers: "Mista Strick-a-lin...why you cussing?"
It was only then that I realized I'd been thinking out loud again! (God, help me! LOL.)
Just a little FYI...that little demon (the objection of my irritation/the kid acting up) was on suspension by the end of the day. I won't have to look at him for two days, thank God!

Saturday, November 13, 2010



Jashaun Agosto: Give him 10 years...this kid is going to be a GOD!

When we think of geniuses, it's often mathematics and science that we think of...but there are also athletic geniuses!
(...and, NO, I'm not exaggerating about this kid! Just take a look!)



Sunday, October 17, 2010

OMG! This is why I so seldom hang out with certain folks!

Jeezus, these people are something else! Just because I'm a good guy and single does not give you the right to try to offer me up to every single female that you're acquainted with! With my very first girlfriend, 5 years ago (yes, I'm a later bloomer), I learned... A REAL MAN DOES NOT TOY WITH THE EMOTIONS OF A SINGLE MOTHER! IF YOU HAVE HAVE NO INTENTION OF STICKING AROUND, DON'T EVEN ASK HER OUT! (I ended up making a real mess of that relationship.)

I know quite a few things about single mothers now, especially after having been raised by one. The most important thing is this: a good, single mother dates men very sparingly. So, if you even make it to the 3rd date, that means that she's looking at you as "long term" material! This is why you must be wary. If this isn't something that you want, STAY AWAY FROM HER. Real men, in my opinion, do not take advantage of something so precious. A good mother is a rarity these days (a mother that is actually raising her child and not club-hopping every night, simply because she's upset that she missed out on her youth from having a baby too soon), so don't lead them on! If you have no interest, let them know that...right up front.

Jeezus, I'm so pissed off.

And the thing is, the girl actually digs me. You all should have seen her...too cute. Good mom. Intelligent. Hard working. ...But even still, I have no interest in a future with her, and I'm not someone who believes in wasting my time or that of anyone else. That's why I didn't ask her out or leave with a phone number (and she was so hoping that I would! A woman will always make it clear when she's interested, sending every signal imaginable in your direction. That's why when I made it known that I was about to leave, she instantly struck up a conversation with me, asking about my interests and work. I kept trying to creep outta there, but every time I took a step backward, she asked another question. Bless her heart, she was adorable).
My work and my future are both VERY important to me, and I'm, plain and simply, not willing to give my time to a woman yet. In fact, just to be real...I don't even plan on living in America for the rest of my life. So why would I be stupid or selfish enough to ask this girl out, knowing damn good and well that it absolutely, positively cannot work out?
I swear, sometimes, it seems that I'm the only man on the face of the planet with a conscience.

Friday, October 8, 2010

My new character, Akiba! Created using "DEMON'S SOULS"

Normally, I'm a traditional tools type of guy (paintbrush/pencils/acrylic paint, etc...), but I just couldn't resist playing around with the character design of my game, "DEMON'S SOULS" (which, by the way, is one of the greatest things I've ever played. It's GENIUS, I kid you not!)

Anyways, this is a character from one of my stories. Her name will give you a hint at some of her abilities. FUN! FUN! FUN!
(Click on image to view at full size!)

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Nas cut them up! Every word is TRUE!

(This is a classic verbal ass whipping! ...Sounds like something I would write. Lol.)

Nas's Open Letter To L.A. Reid: 'I'M NOBODY'S SLAVE, PUT MY SHIT OUT!'

From: Nas
To: LA Reid, Steve Bartels, Steve Gawley, Michael Seltzer, Joseph Borrino, Chris Hicks
Subject: PUT MY SH*T OUT!
Peace to all,
With all do respect to you all, Nas is NOBODY’s slave. This is not the 1800′s, respect me and I will respect you.
I won’t even tap dance around in an email, I will get right into it. People connect to the Artist @ the end of the day, they don’t connect with the executives. Honestly, nobody even cares what label puts out a great record, they care about who recorded it. Yet time and time again its the executives who always stand in the way of a creative artist’s dream and aspirations. You don’t help draw the truth from my deepest and most inner soul, you don’t even do a great job @ selling it. The #1 problem with DEF JAM is pretty simple and obvious, the executives think they are the stars. You aren’t…. not even close. As a matter of fact, you wish you were, but it didn’t work out so you took a desk job. To the consumer, I COME FIRST. Stop trying to deprive them! I have a fan base that dies for my music and a RAP label that doesn’t understand RAP. Pretty fucked up situation
This isn’t the 90′s though. Beefing with record labels is so 15 years ago. @ this point I just need you all to be very clear where I stand and how I feel about “my label.” I could go on twitter or hot 97 tomorrow and get 100,000 protesters @ your building but I choose to walk my own path my own way because since day one I have been my own man. I did business with Tommy Mottola and Donnie Einer, two of the most psycho dudes this business ever created. I worked well with them for one major reason……. they believed in me. The didn’t give a f**k about what any radio station or magazine said….those dudes had me.
Lost Tapes is a movement and a very important set up piece for my career as it stands. I started this over 5 years ago @ Columbia and nobody knew what it was or what it did but the label put it out as an LP and the fans went crazy for it and I single handlely built a new brand of rap albums. It’s smart and after 5 years it’s still a head of the game. This feels great and you not feeling what I’m feeling is disturbing. Don’t get in the way of my creativity. We are aligned with the stars here, this is a movement. There is a thing called KARMA that comes to haunt you when you tamper with the aligning stars. WE ARE GIVING THE PEOPLE EXACTLY WHAT THEY WANT. Stop throwing dog s**ton a MAGICAL moment.
You don’t get another Nas recording that doesn’t count against my deal….PERIOD! Keep your bulls**t $200,000.00 fund. Open the REAL budget. This is a New York pioneers ALBUM, there ain’t many of us. I am ready to drop in the 4th quarter. You don’t even have s**tcoming out! Stop being your own worst enemy. Let’s get money!


Friday, October 1, 2010

New Goldilocks Planet, guys! Woohoo!

I have to say I'm pretty freakin' stoked about this new planet! We need more discoveries like this, because our planet is becoming vastly overpopulated (who knows, it may be already!). We will HAVE to colonize somewhere else eventually. It's the only way we'll survive!

Sunday, September 26, 2010

"Will Proof of an Adjacent Universe Be the Next Great Discovery?"

This is incredibly intriguing stuff here. I know there is truth to this, although I'm conflicted by it. I'm no longer a Christian, although I was raised in religion. Now, I'm merely a spiritual man, who believes...well, quite honestly, I don't know what I believe anymore. Lets just say that I know 'men' (as in humans) are NOT all there is to life. Personally, when I think of God, a woman usually comes to mind. In fact, 'usually' is kind of an understatement...why do you think God always turns up as a woman in my stories?
However, I realize that this view of mine may be just as narrow-minded as 'holy' books to which some religious folks so desperately cling. Perhaps God is bigger than a single being...bigger than a single universe, even? Perhaps He/She/It is something that none of us are capable of comprehending. The day that we do truly understand, our species will probably not even be able to be called 'human' anymore, as we'll be too highly evolved.
The reason this article intrigued me so is because I know in my heart that there's something to it. Look at how creative I am...this shit has to come from somewhere. I think my level of skill has more complex reasons behind it than just mere talent and imagination. Those are too simple and too arrogant and have nothing but a 'me, me, me' feel to them. Painting these pictures and writing these stories are as natural to me as breathing. The ideas have to come from somewhere! And I think it's ironic that I've always told people, "My ideas and inspiration are purely whimsical...they come straight from the ether! I hardly need to think about new projects. They just COME."
And, of course, now I've landed on this article, and it's only reinforced what I believe.

(A little snippet from the article...a link will be at the bottom. Copy and paste it.
Or just click on the title to the blog, and it will take you straight there.)
Mathematician Hugh Everett published landmark paper in 1957 while still a graduate student at Princeton University. In this paper he showed how quantum theory predicts that a single classical reality will gradually split into separate, but simultaneously existing realms.

"This is simply a way of trusting strictly the fundamental equations of quantum mechanics," says Barrau. "The worlds are not spatially separated, but exist as kinds of 'parallel' universes."

Partly because the idea is so uncomfortably strange, it’s dismissed as sci-fi by many critics. But there are also many credible, respected proponents of the theory—a group that is continuously gaining new adherents as new research unveils new evidence. Some Oxford research—for the first time—recently found a mathematical answer that sweeps away one of the key objections to the controversial idea. Their research shows that Everett was indeed on the right track when he came up with his multiverse theory...

Saturday, September 25, 2010

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Everyone, I'm in love! My wife is in this video!

Sorry to post this video twice in a row, but I really need you guys to take a look at my wife 1 minute, 20 seconds in, EXACTLY! Holy god, I want her to be the mother of my children!


This song is, like, 'tear jerker' beautiful! Indie hip hop at its finest!

(And on another note, check out this Islamic woman at EXACTLY 1 minute, 20 seconds in! She is one of the most magnificent beauties I've ever seen, EVER! I kid you not, she is seriously 'DROP DEAD'!)

Monday, September 13, 2010

Women are so adorably strange!

I think it's really cute when they're interested in you, but will NEVER, under any circumstance, come out and say it! Instead they go the round-about-bullshitting path to finding out whether or not you have a girlfriend.
I had one say to me today "Oh, my god, Marque, stop flirting with all the girls! Every time I see you, you're macking to a different woman!" LOL!
First of all, THAT'S BULLSHIT! :) Workaholic, goal-driven artists don't have time to flirt with women that they aren't even remotely attracted to. That's precious time I could be devoting to a novel, screenplay, or a painting! Secondly...ARE. YOU. SERIOUS? Why can't women just come out and say "Marque, are you single?" You sillies, is that so hard?!
Good grief.
...However, as strange as you all are, I'd be lying if I were to say that I didn't find your eccentricities attractive. I just wish I had a thing for this woman, who (very clearly) is into me. It'd be nice to go on a date!

Monday, August 9, 2010

This is absolutely classic!

Star Wars/blaxploitation fans will REALLY get a kick out of this!


Monday, May 3, 2010

A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010)


I feel guilty writing this, considering the fact that I haven't yet written anything for deserving films, such as “How to Train Your Dragon” or “Kick Ass.” But, alas, I've already begun, so I guess I should give my opinion, yes?

Okay, folks, lets get real: YES, this is an entertaining film...but should it have been made? NO.

This new version of our beloved horror film, A Nightmare on Elm Street, is so eager to get to the Freddy Krueger scenes that they sacrificed story. Do you remember how important Nancy's parents were to the story in the original film? Well, this time around, the mother has almost nothing to do with the tale. She doesn't have anywhere near enough screen time, considering the fact that she is part of the reason that Freddy has returned as a dream demon. She knows about Nancy's history at a certain elementary school (a new addition to the storyline), in which Fred Krueger worked. Yet I believe she has all of two conversations with Nancy on the matter. All the kids are being brutally slain, one by one, but she has absolutely no opinion on this matter, because, as mentioned, SHE'S HARDLY IN THE FUCKING FILM!
And don't even get me started on Nancy's father...do you know these idiots COMPLETELY axed him from the storyline?! He's not in the movie at all-not even mentioned!

Yes, Freddy looks absolutely beautiful...as far as horribly scarred pedophiles go. Some might even argue that the voice of Jackie Earle Haley, deeper and much more sinister, trumps that of our beloved Robert Englund. And, of course, the special effects are top notch this time. However, with that said, those few positive qualities DO NOT justify the creation of this film. Don't get me wrong...it is an entertaining movie. But, when compared to its predecessor, it is a vastly inferior film!

© Marque Terrynamahr Strickland/2010

Sunday, May 2, 2010

This is INCREDIBLE. More stuff being hidden from us!

Dude, I'm SERIOUSLY getting sick and tired of this type of information not being made available! Why is it that we have to go digging for things like this? Religious people are so uptight that they hide anything that will be a slap in the face to what they believe! It's really getting on my nerves!


Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Damn these pretty girls!

Dude, listen to what I did today...I'm SO stupid!

Okay, so, I'm out at the store, and this girl, named Areen Jalajel, walks up to me and says "Excuse me, sir, I'm a manager at *** bank, and... (blah, blah, blah) ...would you like to sign for a free bank account? There's a $50 incentive that you never have to pay back, and you can close the account at any time with no fines whatsoever... (blah, blah, blah)."

So of course my dumb ass said, "Yes," knowing good and well that:
1) I do NOT need another bank account, and...
2) This is a small chain with no nation wide presence, and they're most likely only located in Illinois.

But, of course, I said "yes" anyway, because this girl was one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen, and she hypnotized me for about a half hour. I kid you not, I just couldn't think straight! All I wanted to do was just sit and look at her!
(You know what, the people who run these companies really know what they're doing, don't they! Of course, they put the prettiest face on their payroll on the front line, just for suckers like me! Good lord!)

Dammit, now I have to go in and close this account! I think I should be able to pull it off though just because I've had time to recover, and I'll be expecting to see her this time, so I should be immune to the effects of her beauty...hopefully.

This damn penis of mine—he really needs to stop thinking for me. I swear, sometimes I seriously feel like he has a mind of his own. The problem, however, is that he's not very bright!

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Pee pee!

No matter how much I wipe, shake, or dance, the very last drop always goes down my pants! God should have thought of something less messy!

This is for people who believe that human beings are the only intelligent species in this universe!

Knuckleheads! In fact, studies suggest that we're probably the most primitive!

For this video that I'm about to post and all other links following, I want you all to keep in mind that humans did NOT have the tools, technology, or the man power to build pyramids...let alone UNDER WATER PYRAMIDS! So what the hell?
This leads me to a couple different theories:

1) They were built by beings NOT OF THIS WORLD!

2) This is not the first time that humans have been to this planet. There may have been a previous version of ourselves here, and that would mean that...well...just look at this link! : http://www.telegraph.co.uk/science/space/7136269/All-humans-are-aliens-from-outer-space-scientist-claims.html

(Okay, folks, it's PYRAMID time! Check out this new discovery! And don't forget to also check out the amazing links posted toward the bottom!)



...and other wonders! :

Saturday, April 3, 2010

BEAUTIFUL CREATURES: My review. I loved it!

(I will post the review here in regular text, as well as HTML images to suit the tastes of both types of people.)


I had the pleasure of meeting authors Margaret Stohl and Kami Garcia at Anderson's Bookshop in Downers Grove, Illinois. Marg, a self-proclaimed 'caffeine fiend,' is laugh-out-loud funny...definitely the type to cheer you up on a down day. You'd even want to hang out with her. However, you might want to keep your distance if you're an impressionable person, for she has said (more than once): “I'm not a role model.” But don't mind her nonsense, as she's just being silly...Margaret is a very sweet girl.
The other half of this writing team, Kami, is so cute and adorable that you just want to sweep her up, and kiss her, and hug her, and marry her on sight. She too is witty, with an edge of sarcasm to her demeanor. This one is also a sweetie pie.
Two great girls with great talent, who wrote a great book-Beautiful Creatures-their debut novel.

It's been quite some time since I've been this pleased with a read. As I've mentioned before to people, I prefer female authors, as their writing tends to be a bit more honest, whereas males are conditioned to write a certain way because of all the machismo we're raised with. I absolutely positively HATE stories with tons of male bravado and weak female characters! Perhaps that is why I myself do not create those damsel-in-distress females when I write. (Oh, I didn't mention that I'm a novelist, did I? I'm currently finishing up my 4th book, whilst working as a teacher aide in the atrocious public school system...but not for much longer, I assure you!) Because of my need for strong representation of both sexes in books, I really fell in love with Beautiful Creatures.

One character in particular that I adore, is named Amma. Though I'm not sure of her ethnicity (as I don't quite remember it being mentioned), she reminds me of the women in my family. I grew up in a really 'old school' black family, with deep southern roots, so of course the women in my family are all extremely spiritual and FANTABULOUS cooks! Amma is definitely 'auntie' or 'grandma' material. I love her!
Amongst other wonderfully entertaining characters, are the two main ones, Ethan Wate and Lena Duchannes. They are what I wish all teenagers would be. Let us not forget that I work in the public school system, so my opinion of teenagers is rather jaded. The kids I deal with on a regular do nothing except FIGHT, F***, FOOL AROUND, FEEL EACH OTHER UP, AND FAIL EVERYTHING THEY POSSIBLY CAN! (Like, seriously, how the 'effing crap do you fail GYM?! Or...how are you sitting in Mr. Jacobek's class, PLANNING TO GET PREGNANT at sixteen-years-old?! The kids I know, do these things on a regular!)
Lena Duchannes is not only innocent, insecure, and incredibly powerful, but she is also an absolute dream to me. I'll take the beautiful, 'strange' outcast any day of the week over the bubblehead, dumb b****, who could possibly make my social life easier by dating her but who is simultaneously the worst of human beings.
And Ethan is what every young man should be. He's selfless, respectful, and secure enough to stick by the side of someone he loves even though he's persecuted for it. Any young man that is coming of dating age, who needs to learn how to treat a woman, should take notes from Ethan Wate.

The story is complex but simply told. And though there are many people to keep track of (especially with the addition of characters who I can tell will be important later in the series), Kami and Margaret did a great job of presenting just enough information to get to know these people without overwhelming the reader. And they get even more cool points for being so creative within their confines of Gatlin, South Carolina. As an author, I know that it's very difficult to work well in a limited setting, but these girls were so inventive within their restraints that their tale never ever got boring. I promise you, this story is entertaining, cover-to-cover!

Another thing I'd like to point out about the craft of these two authors is that Margaret and Kami treat their readers with much respect. They automatically assume that you're smart, and I appreciate that immensely. Some writers, especially beginners, tend to explain every single aspect of their tale right off, just to make sure that you, the reader, understand things to come. How insulting! Marg and Kami, however, do not give you pointless exposition to explain aspects of their story...they actually give you STORY! I can't tell you how many times that I, as well as others that I suggested a certain book to, got frustrated with a tale, in which a popular author (I'm speaking of the most popular author as of April 2010-not the wealthiest. We all know who the wealthiest one is!) kept beating me over the head with a certain detail. I'm a pretty intelligent guy, and I read constantly, so I don't need a writer to tell me how beautiful a certain characters is, over and over and over again! WE KNOW HOW BEAUTIFUL HE IS ALREADY, GOOD LORD! I swear, one day, I'm going to go back through that book and count how many times this author speaks of a certain character's statuesque beauty...she must have done it 100 times! (Don't get me wrong, the tale was marvelously entertaining overall, and I still love and admire her as an author...but good grief, woman!)
More cool points to Kami and Margaret for NOT treating their readers like first graders that need notes pinned to their shirts everywhere they go.

They say that we authors have a tendency to reveal who we are in the stories we tell. So, lastly, I'd like to say that I'm quite impressed with the women that Magaret Stohl and Kami Garcia have revealed themselves to be. From the numerous quotes and references, you'll be able to tell that these are very educated, well-read women. They believe in loyalty, justice, and equality. And they despise bigotry. Furthermore, I can see that they're idealists at heart, who believe in lasting love. With that said, I'm having a very difficult time figuring out which I adore more-the authors or their book?

-April 2010/Marque Terrynamahr Strickland

Oh, I forgot to give you all one warning about the book. DO NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE, READ THIS BOOK ON AN EMPTY STOMACH, BECAUSE YOU WILL BE SORRY! It's chock-full of food! I can't tell you how many times I put this book down, absolutely ravenous, ready to devour any and everything in sight...even the damn brick walls of my house!

...and, speaking of food, Kami and Margaret, can you guys do me a solid? Could you please have Amma incorporate more vegetables into Ethan's diet? If you don't, my dude is gonna have some serious heart problems later in life!

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Accidents Happen (OMG, I haven't been this rude in a long time!)

Okay, so, I just got my computer fixed. Then yesterday I went and bought a new one, as to have my old laptop as something that I can travel around with, whilst leaving my new one at home.
I saw an awesome sale in the Fry's Electronics paper, and it had all the specs I needed:
15.6 inch, widescreen display
250 GB hardrive
Dual Core (of course)
3 GB memory
...blah, blah, blah

So, after school, I high-tail it down Cermak Road, all the way out to Downer's Grove. I enter, with sales paper in hand, and have one of the retail associates go grab my laptop for me. When he gets back, the first thing this muthafucker does is start moaning:

Of course, what he points out to me is $400 more! And then he goes into his next little rant...


First off all, I think it's a jerk move to look at what someone is buying and call it 'crap' right in front of them. Several years ago, I used to work at an art supply shop (a great little gig for an artist, I must say), and I NEVER did that to customers. If there was a particular product that was better, I would quietly whisper "Just to let you know, mam, I'm an artist too, and this particular paintbrush..." See what I mean? If ever I did have to lead a customer to a more expensive product, I would go from A-Z, listing off the reasons why it was a better product! I wouldn't just point out something with an extravagant price, only to tell them "Oh...it's better!"

Second of all, the technology is so good now, most laptops are all the same anyway! I'm not a fucking moron, dude, seriously. You can't come to me and say that "such and such is waaaay better than another brand," because that's just as stupid as saying that one DVD player is better than another. Those things are down to $30 now, which means they're all the same!

Thirdly, these so called "performance service" plans that they try to push on you with everything that you buy are such bullshit! Most expensive items come with a one year warranty anyway. Also, why would I pay $200 extra for a performance service plan, when, if anything ever goes wrong with my laptop, I can go to Microcenter and have them erase the computer and reload my Windows, PERFECTLY SETTING THE MACHINE BACK TO FACTORY STANDARDS, for 150 bucks cheaper? Why?

Do you see what I'm getting at? I'm not stupid, and these salesmen treat you like you are! Please understand, guys, I really, really, really did not mean to be rude....but after five minutes of this guy going on and on about this performance service plan, finally, I rolled my eyes and thought:

It wasn't until I noticed him glaring at me with those wide eyes that I realized I must have been thinking out loud again. Dammit! I have got to learn to stop moving my lips with every thought. Good grief.

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